john, i know your feeling of hopelessness because, i've been there. i felt like i was alone and nothing i did ever worked out. i wanted to give up and i came very close to it.

i recommend reading john 3:16, one of the best verses of the bible in my opinion. "For God so loved the world, He gave His only Son." God loves us that much. really think about that. my exboyfriend was an atheist for nearly half his life, when we broke up i prayed constantly for his soul. i couldn't bare the thought of being in heaven without him, and knowing he would be in a place of indescribable misery...about 3 weeks ago, my prayer for him was answered. he called me and said he'd turned his life over to Christ. for the first time in his life, he broke down, fell to his knees and cried and begged for God's love and forgiveness. i'm telling you all this because i want you to know that God is ALWAYS with us. God never leaves us...we leave Him. all we have to do is call on Him from our hearts and He hears us and He helps us the way He knows is best, but we have to be sincere and we have to be willing to open our hearts to hear Him.

pray with me, john:

in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, touch John's heart. Dear God, remove the hopelessness, and remove the cursed feeling, Lord. We know nothing is impossible through You dear Lord. We come to you, humble, asking for Your healing of john's heart, spirit, and faith. make it strong in You Lord. In Jesus name, we pray, Amen.