okay, so right now... i just need God

i am what one would consider 'in recovery' from an addiction to porn, and the temptation is hitting hard right now...
i try to convince myself that because its less bad, then its okay
and its not

i just need strength
and hope
and peace
.... and all sorts of things i can get only through God.

Update added Thu Jan 15 01:49:17 +0000 2009

the feeling... comes in waves
one minute its all okay
and the next i just want to give in.
hoping maybe it would hurt less, than it does to sit here and fight.

i have been doing so well! its been... 11 weeks? now... and yeah.

i dont know what to consider giving in or not anymore. you can go into facebook and just search for random junk, and its not hardcore, but its still gross. so i dont know... where to consider a win and where a loss.

i just dont know where to go. I know... duh, run to God. but i cant. its not that easy. it cant be.

Submitted Thu Jan 15 00:50:12 +0000 2009

1. Addiction
2. Hope
3. strength